i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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