She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Green mimosas i think yes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
