The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
