halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
