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quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
