it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
