At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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