you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize