We won't sleep together?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
