why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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