I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
