dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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