Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
