You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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