I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
