You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
