Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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