I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
