i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
