so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
