Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
