You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
