Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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