You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
