Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
