Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
