Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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