I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
