is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
