how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The adults are the big ones right?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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