i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize