Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
