I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize