Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I believe in your delicious
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
