I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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