Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
