hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
