We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
