So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i think i have two assholes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
