My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
