I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
