just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
