smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
