with your own penis?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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