just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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