Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
