Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
