From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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