actually, I'm a sock model
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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