Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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