Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What drink are we having for lunch?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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