after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Randomize
