Whod you bang
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
