that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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