I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
