he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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