I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
