Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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