he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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