Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
