Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
